Don’t Make Me Angry. You Don’t Want to See Me When I’m Angry.

Maybe this is because I haven’t been (seriously) knitting for even a year yet. Or maybe it’s because I’m an emotional teenager. Or maybe it is because I Overthink Everything, Srsly.

Look at this.


That’s the back of my sweater, and that skinny looking fish is the front. Looks OK, right? I ripped out the bind off, and knitted until I reached 8 inches from the start of the armhole. So simple, right?

Look at this.

I actually think that I managed to make my finger look annoyed in that picture. The front is now longer than the back by about half an inch, and I still need to knit around 4-5 more rows to do the shoulder shaping. Should I be worried about this, or should the front be a little longer?

This post is prime example of what happens when you combine a bookish intellectual with knitting. Hysteria, and a tendency to take everything much too seriously. I envy the yoga knitters, the people who slap a few hundred stitches on their needles and a day or two letter, poof, a sweater, with a multi-colored yoke!

Now, I can relax with knitting. 100% llama is very hard to analyze; all you can do is wonder how a yarn could feel so much like heaven. But in general, I tend to find myself ripping and rechoosing projects, rechoosing yarn, losing needles and biting my fingernails.

  I’m trying to relax, and I have to relate something that sounds rather shutupimcountingish; which you will understand if you read her blog. While showering in the royal bath, I heard a pounding on the door and an incoherent shout. I switched off the water.

  “What?” I yelled impatiently.

  “Um, uh,” came the voice of my younger sister, “Can you teach me to knit?”

 Apparently, while you are naked and dripping wet is the best time to teach someone to knit.

 Who knew?


March 20, 2008. Tags: , . Knittin' Porn, works-in-progress.


  1. Alex replied:

    My advice is this: You’ve knit the back to the correct size, right? Then knit the front piece the same number of ROWS in total from the armpit to the shoulder bind off. Do the shaping as the instructions say. The important thing is to have the same total number of rows. When you block the sweater, block the pieces to the same MEASUREMENT. Wool stretches and moves and it’s hard to get the same measurement all the time before you block it. I can see in your photo above already that the front piece you are laying out is at a slight angle (the stitch columns are not precisely parallel) which will throw off measurement.
    I’m also a really picky knitter, and I rip out stuff that isn’t perfect. So don’t worry. You’ll get there! And don’t forget to have fun. 🙂

  2. Cass replied:

    Yup, block it. Then freak out if it still doesn’t fit together right.
    And OMG you don’t even have privacy in the shower NOW!?? That sux! Most people have bathroom privacy till they have kids! At least you didn’t fall down when she yelled at you, THAT would have been shutupimcountingish. 😉

  3. jaygee replied:

    Great photos on this blog!

  4. Dava replied:

    I love that annoyed finger photo!

  5. Bonnie replied:

    I knit a tanktop and I was sewing together the 2 sides for the armpits…and one of them is longer than the other.

  6. sarahkatie replied:

    Don’t worry too much about it. First sweaters are always bad, I’m going to guess. You could try and make it work the way it is. I can’t believe that after all the measuring I did on my sweater it still doesn’t fit. Problem is that it grows. I’m serious, you put it on and it gets bigger. I used cheap yarn though, so that probably made the difference. I’m hoping that my next sweater works a little better. I’ll probably check the gauge about 8 million times. Anyway, I wouldn’t worry too much if the sweater doesn’t work out the way you want it too. First sweaters I believe have to be wreck, because then you wouldn’t be able to improve on them.

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