10 Questions I Demand Be Answered

A short letter to the Knitting Godz.

      Dear Sirs, 

  •  What is the difference between sale yarn and clearance yarn, and why do you have these as seperate categories on your website?


  • Is there anyone else who doesn’t think that bulky yarn is of the devil?


  • Why do I forgot to SSK at the the beginning of the row and K2TOG at the end of the row when I’m trying to so hard not to screw up my first sweater?


  • Could you stoop your divine skills to help me choose a great pattern for that skein of Cascade Chunky Baby Alpaca that I have knit and unwound so many times it should rightfully be called Cascade Chunky Fuzz?


  • Why is hasn’t my specially dyed sock yarn prize from Yarn Love come yet?


  • Isn’t my dog supposed to be a carnivore? Because he keeps taking bits of my baked potatoe and hiding them so he can eat them later.


  •  Is there a Knitting Hell?


  •  If so, does it exist in reality, or just in someone’s head? Would everyone be forced to knit with acrylic, or would RedHeart Junkies be given cashmere?


  • Is blasphemy (or letter writing like this) going to get me into Knitting Hell?


  • Do you have my address? If not, email me, and you can direct those boxes of cashmere and merino wool straight to my front door…yes, right there is fine.

 Your Loving & Adoring Friend,



May 19, 2008. Tags: . Snark Editorial.


  1. Carat replied:

    About the dog, please read this:

  2. jinniver replied:

    “Cascade Chunky Fuzz”…I need to get me some of that. Um…you’re not still on NyQuil, are you? 🙂

  3. Aunt Kathy replied:

    If so, does it exist in reality, or just in someone’s head? Would everyone be forced to knit with acrylic, or would RedHeart Junkies be given cashmere?

    Hahahahahah that’s the funniest statement I’ve heard this week.

  4. Merenwen replied:

    My dogs beg for veggies :p

    And my uber-cheap chunky seems to be unwinding every time I swatch. Yay us.

    Time for more Floyd… ‘scuse me…

  5. Kaessa replied:

    I like bulky yarn. You get finished with whatever you’re knitting that much faster, and you can move on to the next project. 🙂

  6. Taryn replied:

    I think knitting hell would be like.. you’re knitting something awesome and then you mess up horribly and you can’t fix it. So you bring it to someone else to fix it and they destroy it.

    My dog goes crazy whenever someone gets out a carrot. He LOVES carrots.

  7. It’s Not Yarn Porn! It’s Yarn Love! « The Lumpy Sweater replied:

    […] What made Friday such a great day was a fat little package in the mail. In Monday’s post, I complained about not getting my Yarn Love? Well, this was it, and I ripped into it, hands […]

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