Alert All Operatives: Knitted Hat Needed For Friend!

 I have asked questions before and you, my minions, my friends-in-yarn…you have never failed me.

 I have a mission. A dear friend of mine needs hat. This poor man is possessed of a rather large noggin. 25 inches around, to be exact. He would love to own a hat that would fit his unusually large head (stop laughing) but even specialty hat shops have not yielded any suitable hatwear.

 Since I do love him and currently owe him a large favor, I am going to knit him a hat. I have no problems designing a basic hat for him,  that’s not my problem. I was just wondering if there were already hats out there for people with big heads—something a little more exciting than a basic hat that I can easily come up with one my own. The criteria:

  • Nothing too fanciful. He’s a poet with old-world sensibilities, so he could definitely handle a beret, but please, no prancing kittens or puppies and please, God, nothing like this:


 Sorry, Knitpicks.

  • Must fit a head 25 inches around, or be easily sized up
  • I would really, really, really, really, really like to be able to knit him a driver type cap, like Morgan, but that is only sized up to 23.5 inches. He loves this type of hat, but the complicated patterns makes me wary of my ability to change this pattern. Anyone?
  • A little boho sensibility is nice. The yarn is already going to be black or dark gray.

Please, do it for my poor, hatless friend. Imagine his pain, never being able to hide his head from the harsh winds of winter. Feel his pain, and help me help him!


October 15, 2008. Snark Editorial. 3 comments.

Ballband Dishcloth Mania: The Fire Of Competition

Peaches & Creme Ballband Dishcloth by you.

Peaches & Creme Ballband Dishcloth by you.

Peaches & Creme Ballband Dishcloth by you.

Peaches & Creme Ballband Dishcloth by you.

Peaches & Creme Ballband Dishcloth by you.

The Peaches & Creme group on Ravelry is sponsoring a Ballband dishcloth competition. It ends on November 15th, and whoever has the most ballband dishcloths, wins! I’m plugging away, turning a box of Peaches & Creme cotton into dishcloth after dishcloth.

 I know that I’ve already got more dishcloths than I am going to use, so in the not-so-distant future, I will be wrapping these up with a nice bar of soap and sending them to cherished friends and possibly my grandfather, but he probably uses a dishwasher. However, I am continually mystified by two things in the knitting world.

  1. People who feel obligated to knit one item for everyone in their immeadiate family. I don’t get it. This may be directly related to the fact that if I just knitted for my siblings and parents, I would have to knit at least 12 items. That’s not including my two nephews, my one niece, my brother-in-law, or my sister’s boyfriend.
  2. People who insist on knitting for ungrateful, nasty people

 The second one puzzles me the most. Impossible to please mother-in-laws are gifted complex, stunning lace shawls. Picky fathers are given handknit socks. And the results are reported by sad knitters everywhere: somehow, the miracle of a handknit gift did not soften the heart of their family Scrooge. The wooly goodness of a scarf did not result in a spontaneous personality change, ending with cranky Aunt Eloise bursting into tears and saying that her nasty, demanding ways were just because she didn’t feel loved enough, but now, due to this handknit miracle, she would be a new person. And leave her enormous fortune entirely to you.

 Maybe knitters put too much faith into the power of knitting. Nasty, demanding, irritating people that never liked any of your gifts before? They’re not going to change. No matter how hard you work, no matter how expensive the yarn, it doesn’t matter. They get a charge out of rejecting people. It makes them feel powerful and that’s just that.

 Meanwhile, there are wonderful, lovely people that you can knit for to your heart’s content. I must admit, I am a selfish knitter. I rarely knit for other people and any potential giftee is carefully screened. They must meet some strict qualifications.

  1. Do they routinely prostrate themselves before an image of myself, wrought in gold or ivory?
  2. Do they admire my handknits and plead for me to knit them something just like it—and they actually remember 2 days later that they want it?
  3. Do they routinely steal or ‘borrow’ my handknits because they want something nice to wear?
  4. Are they physically attractive?

 Maybe I’m kidding on the last one. Maybe.

October 13, 2008. Tags: , , , , . Knittin' Porn, works-in-progress. 7 comments.

My Cardigan Is Finished! Giving Up On The Artsy Photo Shoot

 I confess, this cardigan isn’t totally finished. There are a few ends to be woven in, and the buttons need to be re-sewn on. But it’s wearable!

untitled by you.

Pattern: Basic Black

Yarn: Elsebeth Lavold Silky Wool

Start Date: January 2008

Finish Date: August 2008

I wore it to a church function over the weekend and you wouldn’t believe the number of people that complimented me on how cute it was before they even knew that it was handknitted. Some people knew that I knitted it, and were still shocked that it was finished and it was, well, sweaterlike!

 I am very self-satisfied. It feels beautiful, it’s lightweight and it’s warm. It’s a SWEATER!

October 9, 2008. works-in-progress. 9 comments.

Yes, I’m Still Here: Patience & Pictures & Peaches & Creme

 I have not abandoned my blog. There, I wanted to say that first, because I know plenty of blogs that I used to enjoy reading that someone abandoned. Secondly, the reason that I have not been posting is because my camera cord has officially disappeared. I think it was stolen by a mysterious white ferret that we found in our yard. My younger brother was startled to find a tame ferret in our yard, obviously abandoned or lost. We did the right thing. We bought a cage, plenty of food, we loved our ferret.

 However, the ferret apparently did not like us, and disappeared almost before a week was out. My camera cord is also missing. I am searching Ebay for the correct cord and am considering a memory card reader as a good alternative if the only seller I can find is, “CHEEPCHEEPELECTRONICZ,” with a 60% positive rating and shipping is $12 from Hong Kong.

 I do have yarny goodness. The UPS woman (yes, woman, not a man) brought a package from Peaches & Creme. I am not ashamed, I like dishcloth cotton and I am participating in a Ballband dishcloth contest. The Ravelry fan group for the Pisgah yarn company is extremely active on Ravelry and I have until November 15th to knit the original Ballband dishcloths until my eyeballs melt and pour from my sockets.

 If you don’t know what the Ballband dishcloth is, you might have seen it in the first Mason-Dixon knitting book.  Here’s a link to a picture and the pattern online. It wasn’t actually designed by the authors, it is Pisgah’s own company pattern. If you go to your local Wal-Mart or craft store and pick up a ball of Peaches & Creme yarn, (not to be confused with Sugar’n Cream) you can find the pattern printed on the inside of the label. You use two different colors of cotton yarn to make a textured, cushy dishcloth that is really fab at absorbing water and, if you make it smaller, really good at scrubbing, too.

 My Wal-Mart has limited colors of P&C, so I broke down and ordered directly from the Peaches & Creme website. I am now rolling around in crisp shades of green, lickable reds, a pale pink and a icy lemon to pair with some chocolate to make some cute and delicious looking dishcloths—I’ve also got some blue, a deep purple that just pops—I’ve got about 12 balls. All colors that I can’t get locally.

 I know dishcloths aren’t exactly the hawt thing to knit. After all, it costs $1.69 a ball for Peaches & Creme, which totally means it’s low-class. Despite the fact that many of the positive reasons for knitting socks also apply to dishcloths—portable, quick, comes in many colors, practical—it’s just not as chic to knit something that doesn’t cost $25. Sense the sarcasm?

 Don’t get me wrong, I love socks and sock yarn, but there’s a definite snobbery involved if the only reason someone doesn’t knit dishcloths is because it’s cheap. Now, some people can’t stand cotton, or it hurts their hands very much. They also might just dislike the finished object. But there’s something to be said for a project that costs under $5 and makes a beautiful, usable knitted object. I think that’s definitely in the line of traditional, practical knitting.

October 7, 2008. Uncategorized. 10 comments.