Tweedy Yarn Goodness and Porn Spammers

 First, thanks to the enlightening spammer who let me know what “Mark didn’t usually let people do that to him, but he did this time,” and left a great link to a porn website. Thank GOD I’ve got a good spam catcher.

 Secondly, knitting!

 Remember my friend, Matt? I’m knitting the Morgan hat for him out of some beautiful tweedy yarn. Kathmunda Aran is a wool-cashmere-nylon blend and since Matt wears all black, all the time, I picked this color.

Morgan Hat by you.

 I love the way that the flecks of turqoise and gray stand out against the dignified black yarn. Also, it was 20% off at my local yarn store. Pat, the owner, comes up with monthly specials. In October, ANY yarn that was made in Italy was 20% off. Do you have any idea how yarns are made in Italy? That chick is crazy and I adore her.

 And, yes, this is an aran-weight yarn and the pattern calls for DK. I am knitting this hat in fear and trembling because it must fit Matt’s 25 inch head, but I keep thinking, “Dang! This hat is BIG!”

Morgan Hat by you.

 See what I mean? That’s just the top layer of the hat. Forgive the terrible picture quality. My camera is possessed and hopefully, Christmas will remedy this. I’m thinking of calling an emergency fitting with Matt at our local coffeshop. He will have to keep his eyes closed, however, since this will be his Christmas present.

  Which reminds me, why hasn’t Starbucks come into my neighborhood? I’m pretty sure that there’s a Starbucks inside the Oval Office itself, why not my little town?

 Back to the hat. Matt is so excited about it, it scares me. He talks about it to other people and when I sent him a quick update on the hat’s status, he repeated, “I’m so excited about this, hehehehehe.”

 Yes, a 21 year old man wrote, ‘hehehehehehe,’ because he is excited about a hat that I am knitting for him. Can you understand the pressure that puts on me to make this perfect? I’ve never had anyone be so confident in my knitting skills before and I think I’m starting to crack. I’ve got over a month to finish this hat or reknit this hat, and I’m terrified.

 It’s the opposite of the ungrateful recipient: the person who is so grateful before you even FINISH the object that you feel like a small fluffy animal will die if you screw this up. It’s like, the anti-end to a Christmas flick.

 (The scene is Christmas morning and a nervous young knitter hands a carefully wrapped package to Matt. He opens it and pulls out a shapeless tweedy mass.)

Me: Uh, it needs some blocking

Matt: AGHHH! It’s attacking my face!

Me: Maybe I shouldn’t have sold my soul to the devil in those last few hours so I could finish in time…

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November 28, 2008. Tags: , , . Snark Editorial, works-in-progress.

2 Comments

  1. Jen replied:

    As I’m currently on my 6th hat in a row, I’m beginning to feel I can knit one in my sleep…right up until I failed to change to the larger needles after the ribbing. Oh, well–since this hat has to fit 1 of 200 people, I’m pretty sure SOMEONE will be able to wear my mistake. Hopefully, your luck will be better–aren’t expectations fun? 🙂

    My blog must have gotten totally boring–I have hadn’t any good porn spam in months…

  2. Aunt Kathy replied:

    Anytime a man is excited about a knitted item, that is something to celebrate. I do love that yarn though, it’s going to look wonderful.

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