Knit Two By Kate Jacobs Book Review: Stab My Eyeballs Out Bad

I’ve reviewed the first book that Kate Jacobs wrote about knitting, the Friday Night Knitting Club. Here’s the post, but be warned that it gets kinda goopy and it’s as much of a review as it is about me and an old friend.

 However, THIS is a straight-up review of her sequel, Knit Two, and oh, boy, am I ready to review this book. I want to review it right down the road. If you want to buy it, here’s an Amazon link, but stick around for the review and maybe go to the library instead.

 The first book covers the life of Georgia Walker, a single mom with a daughter, a woman dumped by her boyfriend and struggled through life to open up her own yarn shop on NY. The sweetness and angst is about as subtle as someone ripping out your heartstrings with a sledgehammer, but I digress.

 The plot revolves around Georgia gradually reuniting with her husband and learning to trust an old friend that betrayed her. Along the way, she is always admired and gathers a group of friends around her that attend the Friday Night Knitting club. Anita, an older woman, Petri, who works at the shop, KC, a sterotypical NY person ( I have no other way to put it, KC sounds like all the cliches of a single older woman in NY slapped together) Darwin, a grad student with a secret, oh, and Cat, her traitor friend.  There’s also Luci, the woman that gets pregnant by an unsuspecting dude because she wants someone to love. After all, the best reason to have a child is to fulfill your own emotional needs.  Fear my sarcasm, ladies. 

 I’m not going to go into the entire plot of the first book. Suffice it to say that after everyone is happy, Georgia dies of cancer. Wah, wah, wah, Hallmark movie moment. Pass me a box of hankies.

 Knit Too picks up 5 years after Georgia kicks the bucket with one perfect, cowboy-booted foot.

 About 5 pages in, the author lost me.

The plot is, to be the kindest that my grumpy, love-starved soul can possibly be, NON-EXISTENT.

 Yep, you heard it. No plot.

 James, one of the most compelling characters in the book, has faded into obscurity. Darwin is pregnant with twins, hurrah. But, no plot. Anita and her BF decide to get married, RAH! But, no plot. Cat is sleeping around and having fun! But no plot.  Petri is pissed and making handbags. Rah! But no plot. The closest that the book comes to a plot is hinting that there might be something between James and Anita and then snatching it away.

 Dakota, Georgia’s daughter, has completed her first semester at NYU and acts like a spoiled brat whenever Petri tries to change anything. She is the Angst Princess. Sure, her mom died. But that gives her no right to act like the sterotypical ‘owner’s daughter’ and pull some guilting BS on Petri, who actually runs the shop. When Petri tries to call her on acting like a kid, Dakota breaks into sobs and pulls the “my mommy died, UR mean card,” and I am NOT kidding when I tell you that she actually said, “My pain trumps yours.”

 Yes, that’s right. Because when you’re a brat, it’s all about how you’re not responsible for it because your pain trumps that of the woman that has kept your mom’s shop together for the past five years.

 But, there’s STILL no plot. The characters wander aimlessly through the pages. Oh, and the knitting content? Pretty much ZERO.  Yeah, everyone knits and talks about it once in awhile, but don’t kid yourself, this book is as much about how sad women are without a man and bebehs as it is about knitting.  I kept reading, hoping that a plot would emerge SOMEWHERE. Somehow, a plot would come to the fore and I would chuckle at the cleverness of the author.

 Unfortunately, no such thing happened. I already wasn’t a fan of the first book, but the second was so much worse that it made me positively angry. It is NOT worth the money to someone that wants a knitting novel, it is NOT worth the money to someone that wants a cozy romance, and, to be blunt, really shouldn’t have been published. Jacob’s publishers should not have accepted this book. At least the first book had a plot, sacchraine as it may have been. Knit Two doesn’t even try.

 The conclusion of the book? Well, huh. Since there was no compelling plot or conflict, there is really no resolution. Sure, Dakota decides to be a pastry chef, in spite of her father’s objections. Sure, Cat hooks up with some dude. Sure, Anita reunites with some long-lost sister. But, you really didn’t care about most of these ‘problems’ in the first place, so the end is about as muddled and unrewarding as the rest of the book.

PS. Did I mention that I also feel like crap today? I think that’s partly the reason that I have no patience for more crap in the written form. Sorry if you liked it despite the flaws, I can’t bring myself to really care about this book.

Advertisements

December 13, 2008. Tags: , , . Snark Editorial.

14 Comments

  1. jinniver replied:

    After book one, there was no way in hell I would have read book two, so you get kudos from me for your courage in tackling it. I kept reading the first book when I should have put down because I kept waiting for the great story I’d been hearing about. I was never able to connect to any of the characters–Georgia pretty much pissed me off; I was probably supposed to sympathize with her because she’d been so badly treated by everyone she loved…but I kept waiting for her to grow up and quit acting like the whiny victim.

    And then, when she FINALLY does…the cancer thing? Are you freaking KIDDING me? It was so clear that the author sat down and looked at her book, and said, “Well, shoot…I’ve written myself into a happy ending, and while that might get me a Hallmark TV movie, I’m shooting for the big screen…hey, what if I kill off Georgia with a surprise cancer diagnosis that she inexplicably dies from after surgery? I bet I could even get Julia Roberts…!”

    Um…anyway. After that, I can’t be at all surprised that book 2 was such crap.

  2. samantha replied:

    wow, so what I learned from reading the first book and reading your review was, well, that I should write a book, and you too. we could write way better books, and apparently, get them published! wow….

  3. Amanda replied:

    Ugh, never read those books, definitely not inclined to now. Especially the second one. I’ll stick to my dry, non-fiction reading materials. If I need a fiction fix, I’ll stick to Gaiman and Pratchett.

    I suppose having a mother that had thousands of romance novels makes me shun the genre, regardless of knitting content. 🙂

  4. UndyedYarnpire replied:

    I really hated the first book. Thank you for the warning against the second one.

    The Debbie Macomber yarn store book was less smarmy and less irritating and better written but with the yarn store owner who had cancer… so the first Jacobs book seemed extremely derivative. Add one scoop plagiarism and one scoop NYC-attitude, then add three scoops marketing. I think if Jacobs had set her book somewhere other than NYC, it would not have been published. People like “home town stories”— including people who make decisions on whether a book should be published.

    (and, Hi. I have no idea how I found your blog, but I was interested and finally decided to do more than lurk. Knitters are definitely sheep.)

  5. underdutchskies replied:

    Hey Lumpysweater – YOU should write a novel with a knitting theme! It’s be great. It could certainly never be any worse than the 2 your reviewed! I read the first one and couldn’t believe how awful it was. And then someone actually PUBLISHED the second one. Are all of us knitting such suckers that we fall for the title and then the lousy author gets rich? That sucks.
    I also think you were very brave to read the second one. Or you were just doing all of us a very big favor. Or you are an eternal optimist and figured it couldn’t be as bad as the first. In any case, thanks for reading it instead of me, and thanks for the review!

  6. Helen replied:

    Thank you.
    I read book one. It was okay… not great. I likely enjoyed it more b/c it came from the library.
    I will not be taking this one home. You’ve saved me hours of frustration. I HATE no plot!

  7. Aunt Kathy replied:

    I also haven’t read these books. Your reviews are so honest and I trust them

  8. Marissa replied:

    You get points for reading it. I broke my own rule and didn’t finish the first one. I was in danger of throwing it, and I cannot afford to replace any appliances, gadgets, or windows.

  9. tangletale replied:

    Life’s too short to wast it reading crap. Thanks for taking the hit saving us from this one.

  10. tangletale replied:

    Ok, so this morning I can’t spell or type.

  11. Michelle replied:

    I can’t believe she wrote a second one. I really disliked the first one. Ugh. I read all the way through it and then she died? I wanted to hurl that book across the airplane I was on at the time. What a waste of time I could have been knitting! I am glad I am not the only one who didn’t like it!

  12. Jennifer replied:

    I generally avoid non-pattern knitting books (except for the Yarn Harlot, as IMO she is actually smart and entertaining and a good writer), because they seem to always be smarmy, maudlin and poorly written. Plus I hate HATE the foxhole conceit. Okay, there’s one old lady, one lesbian, one divorcee, one college professor, one new mom, one girl with pink hair… puhleeze. Can we call a moratorium on that particular cliche? Ugh, it makes me want to barf.

    Suffice to say I will not be reading this book, and I appreciate your review!

  13. susanwritesandknits replied:

    I just finished this book, and I didn’t like it much either. But, in an effort to be fair to Jacobs, I think the lack of plot was intentional. It was supposed to be a character driven novel, where they were all in places in their lives where they needed to reexamine what was going on, and reevaluate where they wanted to go from that point on. A lot of people prefer plot-driven novels over character-driven ones. For those who don’t mind the latter though, this wasn’t necessarily a good read, but it’s not as bad as it seems when it’s evaluated as a plot-driven novel.

  14. trish replied:

    Thank you for not liking this book. I read the first book and thought it was horrible, but alas, I seem to be in the minority seeing as how it became a bestseller. Glad not all readers sell out so easily. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback URI

%d bloggers like this: