Working Toe-Up: A Brief History of the Past Year

In the months that I’ve been missing, quite a lot has happened in my life. One of those things is being diagnosed with anxiety and depression. There’s nothing quite as surreal as sobbing while knitting a sweater because the suicide hotline hung up on you. Thanks to the wonders of modern medicine and an excellent therapist, I’ve managed to work down the crazy into a mostly manageable level.

When I use the term crazy, please understand it’s my own way of reclaiming…myself. There is no subject that makes people more timid and shy. Well, that’s not true. Mental illness is usually met with incredible rudeness or political correctness that’s so extreme that you feel bad admitting that being mentally ill is actually a problem and not just another step on the road to creative greatness.

Another interesting development is that I’ve been working at my local yarn store. Yep, true story. I came in around December and found out one of my favorite people had to leave the job for her own reasons. This made me sad but it also created a great opportunity for me to get a part-time job that I could work while also maintaining my grades at school. It’s very fascinating to work on the other side of the counter, so to speak, and I expect I’ll probably post a little about that in the future. What surprised me most is how my views on what makes a good LYS have mostly remained the same..but my views of what makes a good customer are a little different.

Tonight, I attended a meeting of the local knitting guild for the first time. I’ve always managed to miss it, for one reason or another, even though I’ve resolved to go many times. It was fun. We agreed to knit scarves for the Special Olympics and I agreed, even though it entails knitting with Red Heart, BLECK. Maybe I can get away with helping to fund the yarn purchases, rather than knitting with it myself? It probably makes me sound disgustingly elitist but it’s very sticky and harsh feeling to my hands. Still, I voted aye so I’ll help, even if it does mean adding Cherry Red and White acrylic to my stash.

Today, I also began knitting a sock toe-up for the first time. Corey, a knitter who is new to the area, kindly demonstrated the mysterious Judy’s Magic Cast On to me until I finally got it. Not only am I trying toe-up socks, I am doing it on two circular needles. All of this is completely new to me and I couldn’t be more excited. This feels like a renewal.

It feels good.


August 3, 2010. The Lumpy Sweater News.


  1. KnitNurd replied:

    What a great post..thank you for sharing!!!

  2. Sarah replied:

    Thanks for sharing all the changes in your life. I completely understand.

  3. Amanda replied:

    Nice to see you back and blogging! I look forward to seeing what all you have to say.

  4. Dava replied:

    “you feel bad admitting that being mentally ill is actually a problem and not just another step on the road to creative greatness.”

    I’ve been there. Hang in there; there will be good moments and bad moments. I’m so glad you have an excellent therapist because that makes all the difference in the world. And I know you are a smarty that will do all the hard work. Just know there are people out there rooting for you.

    Enjoy the job and the socks. I’ve finally conquered the yarn-over myself!

    And it’s always a thrill to read your writing!

  5. Mary Ellen replied:

    It’s so good to see you back and blogging!

  6. Helen replied:

    Yay for you! Mostly, yay that you’ve found treatment that helps, and that you’re Reclaiming yourself!
    Though I’ve never been hung up on by a hotline, I’ve been most of there, done most of that, and have come out the other side. Knitting helped a lot.
    And I too worked for awhile at a yarn shop while recovering more or less most of my sanity (YMMV)
    Also — yay for you that you got a job in an LYS. I’d still have mine (heck, might have bought the store when the owner wanted to retire) if we hadn’t Moved darn it.

  7. Merenwen replied:

    Good to see you posting again! 🙂

    How are you doing these days? I know mental illness can be tough; I have a sister with bipolar – I think I’ve mentioned it on TK&C before. Anyway, good to hear from you.

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